When I first started working with folks who’d experienced trauma I used a handout. A you’re-not-crazy-these-reactions-are-normal-for-this-circumstance list of symptoms with brief descriptions of why. One of the members of the Abundance Facebook Group (jump in!) said it would be helpful to have a list of normative experiences in the early days of your practice. A brilliant suggestion and I’m happy to flesh it out like that list I used back in the day.
I’m not going to pretend like there’s ONE experience of private practice in the first year, but having talked to hundreds of people in their first year, I’m clear on some themes.
These may not apply to you, but if they do: you’re normal, you’re where you’re supposed to be, you’re not doing it wrong.
What to Expect Your First Year
Imposter Syndrome
I STILL have Imposter Syndrome sometimes. Whether it’s focused on your business or clinical skills, this sense that others might someday realize that you are indeed sub-par and got through all this training and business building by luck is almost a given as you build.
Boom & Bust
I hear this a lot: “I put my Psychology Today profile up/Gave a Talk/Met with a Doctor/______ and got a flood of calls! I expanded my hours and then… crickets.” In the early months and sometimes years of your practice you’re more likely to have booms and busts. The longer you’re in it the more steady referrals become.
Optimism and Pessimism
Oh the roller coaster. “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!” can become “i’m going to fail” within a day depending on what you’re gauging your success on.
Comparison
As if the comparison we do in real life isn’t brutal enough, the comparison we do in business life can be soul-crushing. Of course you’re going to compare yourself to your peers. You’re human.
Getting Stuck in Scarcity Mode
It’s so easy to get stuck in scarcity mode when you’re not booking appointments. Too easy. With scarcity comes fear, grief, hopelessness, pessimism, self-deprecation, frustration, hurt. All those feelings we want to avoid will come up.
Lessons Learned the Hard Way
This entire business came from a desire to save people from learning the hard way like I did. Learning the hard way SUCKS and it’s also part of the process. I’ve realized that I can show people where I fell on my face, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to have their version of their own face-plant as they build.
Some Therapists are Assholes
I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. The empathetic-me knows that the therapists who hoard referral sources, don’t set others up for success, discourage clinicians from going into private practice, and all the other iterations of a scarcity mindset are scared. They don’t know in their bones that there are plenty of clients to go around like I do. The non-empathetic-me is frustrated that they have the power to negatively impact folks who are already vulnerable and needing support.
Some of Us Are Great Fakers
This goes along with the comparison piece. It’s going to look like a lot of people have their shit together. That doesn’t mean they do. Kind of like how you don’t show your clients all your messiness, some clinicians are going to keep their private practice insecurities from leaking out to colleagues. Don’t let it fool you into thinking you’re less than.
Burnout
I also hear “I’m seeing 5 clients a week– why do I feel burned out?” Let’s see. On top of those 5 clinical hours, you’re also investing time in learning so much. You’re spending time with new systems, so much business stuff, staying on top of clinical skills, reassuring your mom that your business is growing, reassuring yourself that your business is growing, doing paperwork, using frustration tolerance skills, networking, overanalyzing every networking experience, brainstorming, honing your niche, listening to podcasts, reading blogs, watching tutorials, signing up for webinars, designing websites/business cards/rack cards, working your marketing plan, getting lost in the land of Facebook, and doing the rest of life.
Confidence
There will be this point where all the sudden you realize you’re on your way. You’ll see the people newly in private practice trying to hide their panic. You’ll realize you don’t have to hide yours anymore because you know you’ve got this. It may hit you one day or it may be a gradual knowing. It’s like when you stopped worrying about not knowing what to say in session. One day it stopped being such a huge concern. This confidence doesn’t necessarily mean you are full. It just means you know you’ll be full one day. I know, sounds nice right? You’ll get there.
Next week I’ll give some perspective on what to do about these things. Until then, rest in the fact that you aren’t a weirdo and that what you’re experiencing is something so many others have experienced. Including me.
Any of this sound familiar? Let us know in the comments!
Allison Puryear is an LCSW with a nearly diagnosable obsession with business development. She has started practices in three different states and wants you to know that building a private practice is shockingly doable when you have a plan and support. After retiring her individual consultation services, she opened the Abundance Party, where you can get practice-building help for the cost of a copay. You can download a free private practice checklist to make sure you have your ducks in a row, get weekly private practice tips, listen to the podcast, hop into the free Facebook Group. Allison is all about helping you gain the confidence and tools you need to succeed.
Thank you for this! It’s so helpful!
Yay! I’m glad it was helpful, Jen!
This is totally me right now!!! Per usual, thanks for the encouragement!
Happy to encourage, Seida! 🙂
Thanks. So true what you say about other therapists as I have found out in trying to sublet my office space. So many lack civility and professionalism. Does not speak well about our profession. Keep your excellent posts coming.
Thanks, Scott! I wish we were all awesome! I guess this means we aren’t the duds. 🙂
this was definitely spot on, and so reassuring. it let’s me know the longer i’m in the game the better my chances!
Kepp on keepin’ on, Jihan!
Oh my word! This is wonderful and I needed to be reminded that all this is normal. Can’t wait to read Pt. 2. Thank you!
As normal as it gets, for better or worse!!!
Thank you for the encouragement and your vulnerability! I want to be a therapist who shares resources and helps others.
From our conversations, Wesley, I have no doubt you will be!
The burnout piece was essential. How could I be tired if i only have 7 clients. Loved it and you’re right on target regarding the feelings that accompany this journey. Your encouragement is wonderful!
I’m so glad it’s helpful, Karen! 🙂
Wow, this is so true for me. Very Validating.
I’m so glad, Tony!
This whole process has been so terrifying and i was encouraged because before I was up and running, I had a handful of phone calls and interested people! Now i am ready to go and i have no appointments set up! I reached out to those that had called but haven’t heard back. everything you said up there was sooooo helpful and encouraging. it is awful to have so much doubt in myself and question my abilities. it feels so good to know that i’m not the only one that does so during this process. Thank you!
Amanda
Totally not the only one, Amanda! The phone will ring again! Until then, so a little marketing and a lot of self care!
I found this helpful because im not where i want to be. I know it takes time but it gets discouraging when you see others thriving and you’re not. I have a fear of it not working out and having to go back to work for someone else
Totally. In most cases, as long as you’re following a marketing plan (that includes a niche, online marketing and in-person marketing), it’s just a matter of time before your practice is sustainable. It’s SO HARD to wait and trust until then. Keep on going. Make sure people know you’re there and that you’re great. 🙂
Yes!! I’ve experienced all of this! I especially appreciated the part about imposter syndrome & burnout. I already feel so much better and more normal by reading this. Thank you!
Yay! I’m so glad!!
I am so grateful for this article. There is so much that i sense in my bones that is accurate about what i expect to encounter as i grow my private practice, but i find small and large kernels of wisdom, and just the support of knowing i am not alone, and can always find what i’m looking for when i seek it–which in this case, is this article, right when I need it. Thank you.